Momma Mia

When me sister asked me if I had a birth plan, pretty much all I could say was drugs. In school the first time I saw a woman get an epidural, I thought, "I don't want to have that done." Then I was there for a woman delivering el natural and I realized there was no way I was going to go through that without some kind of drug. Let me say I'm grateful to be born in a day and age and place where modern medicine is able to provide drugs to women in labor. From the tome we entered the hospital I was asking a lot about when I could get the epidural. Brandon finally told the nurse, "she is just worried she won't get one". The nurse reassured me I could have it whenever I wanted provided I hadn't eaten in the last 6 hours or drunk anything in the last 2. Thankfully, I hadn't eaten since the night before. I didn't get hungry at all through the 23 hour event. The nurse told me the body shouldn't get hungry during labor, as it is focusing on other things. Mine sure was. When we were admitted I was dilated to a 3. I figured I could wait for the epidural for a while. I should experience some of it. Let me tell you my analysis... 9 months of no menstral cramps leads up to one heck of a payback. Having an epidural is no big deal... cold cleansing solution, little prick, tingling feeling, kind of warm sensation, tape in place, done. The anesthetits said if men pass out it is during the placement of the epidural, not during delivery. Brandon thought it was kind of cool and didn't think the needle was that big. I guess that's because it wasn't him they were poking. As a comparison, it was much worse having my partner in nursing school try to start an IV on me and a root canal (or the pain that leads to needing the root canal) was way worse. All told I was in labor 23 hours and it was all pretty much textbook. The whole time he was right down in position. At one point the nurse (Dillon, a girl, she was awesome) asked if anyone had told me he had a lot of hair. Nobody had, but it was neat to findout before we saw him. I only really felt thing the last hour when I was pushing. Man oh man... I can't imagine doing that without the epidural. It was intense, it was painful, it was so much pressure. I was lying on my side, whimpering/crying and thinking how any woman who would choose to do this naturally was crazy and I mean CRAZY!!!! I felt sorrow for all those women who never had the option of drugs. I can admit there is some amazement, but not the awe inspiring kind. More so the I can't believe you just willingly cut your own arm off type of amazement. When they asked if I wanted a mirror I said "I don't care!" and when they asked if I wanted to feel his head hen he was crowning I don't remember what I said, but I know I was thinking about how I just couldn't exert that much energy to do so because another contraction was coming and it would take everything in me to push. Pushing... tv has it so wrong. Now let's talk about pushing so hard you feel like your eyeballs are going to pop right out of your head if you don't keep squeezing them so tightly closed. That's all I'll say about that. Let it suffice to say that if it really hadn't been just 2 more pushes like the doctor said, I don't know what I would have done. Well, I know I would have pushed more, but I also would have wanted to reach out and grab her and yell to her what a liar she was. Thankfully, it was only 2 more pushes and his head was out (side note: who decided 3 pushes per contraction was what it should be? I was so running out of oxygen. I kept thinking of the star fish on Finding Nemo when she repeats to herself "find my happy place, find my happy place!" Well, I didn't find it drring it, but once it was over and they laid him on me, immediate happy place!) It was amazing how suddenly the pain stopped once he was out. What an amazing feeling it was to see him and hold him for the first time. It was all so worth it. I would do it all again.