When Brandon brought Kaylynn in the room she climbed up on the bed to give me a hug. When she held onto the side of the bassinet and looked at her little brother her exact words were, "Uh-ohhh!" She doesn't yet realize just how true those words are. Her life now and forever is altered. She, our princess, now has a prince to share with (and eventually command to do her bidding). I missed my little sweet pea and was so glad to see her. The way each of our little angels came to us was so different, but I wouldn't change any of it. I had one other thought continually on my mind, and that was for Jena, our amazing birthmom whom we love so much. Having now gone through labor and delivery, I have even more love and admiration for her and all other birth moms. What love she has for Kaylynn. What love we have for her. What blessings these two little ones are to us. I am so blessed. We are so blessed.
When me sister asked me if I had a birth plan, pretty much all I could say was drugs. In school the first time I saw a woman get an epidural, I thought, "I don't want to have that done." Then I was there for a woman delivering el natural and I realized there was no way I was going to go through that without some kind of drug. Let me say I'm grateful to be born in a day and age and place where modern medicine is able to provide drugs to women in labor. From the tome we entered the hospital I was asking a lot about when I could get the epidural. Brandon finally told the nurse, "she is just worried she won't get one". The nurse reassured me I could have it whenever I wanted provided I hadn't eaten in the last 6 hours or drunk anything in the last 2. Thankfully, I hadn't eaten since the night before. I didn't get hungry at all through the 23 hour event. The nurse told me the body shouldn't get hungry during labor, as it is focusing on other things. Mine sure was. When we were admitted I was dilated to a 3. I figured I could wait for the epidural for a while. I should experience some of it. Let me tell you my analysis... 9 months of no menstral cramps leads up to one heck of a payback. Having an epidural is no big deal... cold cleansing solution, little prick, tingling feeling, kind of warm sensation, tape in place, done. The anesthetits said if men pass out it is during the placement of the epidural, not during delivery. Brandon thought it was kind of cool and didn't think the needle was that big. I guess that's because it wasn't him they were poking. As a comparison, it was much worse having my partner in nursing school try to start an IV on me and a root canal (or the pain that leads to needing the root canal) was way worse. All told I was in labor 23 hours and it was all pretty much textbook. The whole time he was right down in position. At one point the nurse (Dillon, a girl, she was awesome) asked if anyone had told me he had a lot of hair. Nobody had, but it was neat to findout before we saw him. I only really felt thing the last hour when I was pushing. Man oh man... I can't imagine doing that without the epidural. It was intense, it was painful, it was so much pressure. I was lying on my side, whimpering/crying and thinking how any woman who would choose to do this naturally was crazy and I mean CRAZY!!!! I felt sorrow for all those women who never had the option of drugs. I can admit there is some amazement, but not the awe inspiring kind. More so the I can't believe you just willingly cut your own arm off type of amazement. When they asked if I wanted a mirror I said "I don't care!" and when they asked if I wanted to feel his head hen he was crowning I don't remember what I said, but I know I was thinking about how I just couldn't exert that much energy to do so because another contraction was coming and it would take everything in me to push. Pushing... tv has it so wrong. Now let's talk about pushing so hard you feel like your eyeballs are going to pop right out of your head if you don't keep squeezing them so tightly closed. That's all I'll say about that. Let it suffice to say that if it really hadn't been just 2 more pushes like the doctor said, I don't know what I would have done. Well, I know I would have pushed more, but I also would have wanted to reach out and grab her and yell to her what a liar she was. Thankfully, it was only 2 more pushes and his head was out (side note: who decided 3 pushes per contraction was what it should be? I was so running out of oxygen. I kept thinking of the star fish on Finding Nemo when she repeats to herself "find my happy place, find my happy place!" Well, I didn't find it drring it, but once it was over and they laid him on me, immediate happy place!) It was amazing how suddenly the pain stopped once he was out. What an amazing feeling it was to see him and hold him for the first time. It was all so worth it. I would do it all again.
When Brandon realized when we were due, he was excited because there was some basketball thing on tv. When we were checking into the hospital he realized there would be playoff games for football. He watched both games while I slept (after the epidural was going). After the 2nd game was over he was ready to get the show on the road. Robert wasn't quite so ready. Dad was great. Very helpful. He dutifully got ice chips, plugged/unplugged all the monitors so I could get up and walk, go pee, get in the tub (which helped me relax all my tension, but made the contractions themselves more noticable, I think mainly because I wasn't focusing on trying to relax all my tense spots). He even tried to massage me, but I found I am one of those ladies the birthing class lady talked about who just really don't want to be touched during contractions.
I guess it's fitting that I finally post these on February 12th, the date Robert was actually due. Most people know by know that our little man, Robert John Wilson, was so excited to see us he came early. He arrived at 12:03 am on Monday, January 25th, 2010. He was born at Alaska Regional Hospital and weighed in at 7 lbs even and was 21 1/2" long. He was 2 1/2, almost 3 weeks early. It was an answer to prayer, though, because I really didn't want to have a big baby. Thing is, he measured right on schedule at all the appointments. No matter. My water broke at 1 am on the 24th. My first thought was, "oh my heck, I peed the bed. I definitely didn't do enough kegels." I didn't have any contractions before my water broke, and yes, it was the gush of fluid thought you just peed your pants that only 15-20% of pregnant ladies experience. After that, contractions were about 5 minutes apart pretty steady. I tried to lay back down and go to sleep, but that didn't work. I figured no need waking Brandon up until things were more serious. I went out and wrote in my journal, finished reading a book about giving birth, kind of cleaned up. What I really wanted to do was pack my hospital bag, but all the stuff I needed was in my and Kaylynn's rooms. I had planned to pack the hospital bag on Monday. I should have done it Saturday, but I was too tired. Although I could tell each day that things were getting a bit harder to do (IE bend over, tie my shoes, not bump into things, climb the stairs) I hadn't yet gotten to the point where I just wanted it all over with at all costs. I was very surprised. At about 5 am I decided I would take a shower and then wake Brandon up. He woke up to the shower and came in. He asked what I was doing. I told him my water had broke at 1 am and the contractions were getting more intense. To make a long story longer, he called Delta Airlines to see about getting my mom's ticket changed. They were awesome. They got her up her the next day and didn't charge a change fee. We had gotten her ticket earlier that week to come out on the 12th of Feb. We were able to let Kaylynn sleep because our friends from Homer had flown in from Hawaii that night and were downstairs. When Heather came up she was so excited. She said she had thought how convenient it would be if I went into labor when they were there. They ended up staying with Kaylynn until Cindy could come over later that day. She then kind of had a rough day to two being shuffled to and from a few friends houses. She recovered and is now back into a routine. I realized later that day in the hospital that that was the first day I had ever not seen and been with her.
So, my mom asked if I was getting any pictures of me pregnant. Come to think of it, not really. I tend to take pictures of Kaylynn and not much else. Well, I had Brandon take these of me. I must say, I don't realize how big I am when I look at myself straight on in the mirror. I guess that's why I keep bumping into everything and I can bend over for the life of me. No complaints, though. I loved being pregnant.
So, we decided to start a babysitting exchange with our friends. Us and 4 other couples take turns watching all the kids on alternating Friday nights. We've only done it for a month, but it is great. Four out of five Fridays we are free to go out on a date and don't have to pay for a sitter. Here is Kaylynn with her friends on our night. They have a lot of fun together.
Kaylynn loves wallets. She especially loves to pull all the credit cards out of wallets. She has done this when we've been in the store and I thought I lost a few of my credit cards. Thankfully I found them, but it made me decide to get her her own wallet and fill it with her own "credit cards". Whenever one of those fake ones come in the mail with the 'amazing' credit card offers and the fake card that says "your name here", I put it in her wallet. She loves to take them out and put them back in. I think it's a sign. She'll know how to use them before too long.